Family Ops: The Essential Weekly Meeting for Every Household

In the chaos of daily life, it’s easy for important conversations to get lost in the shuffle. Between work, kids, and endless to-do lists, critical topics like house projects, finances, upcoming travel, and even emotional well-being can fall by the wayside. That’s why my partner and I have established a weekly meeting we lovingly call "Family Operations" or simply "Family Ops."

This dedicated time isn’t just about logistics—it’s about staying connected, ensuring we’re on the same page, and avoiding the buildup of resentment that can sneak into even the strongest relationships. Here’s why our weekly check-in is a non-negotiable part of our lives and how it helps us navigate the complexities of family life with grace and teamwork.

The Power of Regular Communication

At its core, our Family Ops meeting is about communication. It’s a chance to touch base on everything from the practical to the personal, ensuring that nothing important slips through the cracks. Whether we’re discussing upcoming trips, the week’s logistics, or our shared finances, this time helps us stay aligned and reduces misunderstandings.

By setting aside this regular time, we create a space where both of us can express concerns, share updates, and make plans without the pressure of day-to-day distractions. It’s a proactive approach to managing our lives, one that helps prevent small issues from becoming big problems.

Our Family Ops Agenda

We’ve developed a specific agenda that keeps our meetings focused and productive. Here’s how it works:

1. Gottman Check-In for Couples: We start with the Gottman Check-In, a practice designed to strengthen our emotional connection. This is a streamlined version of the Gottman Relationship Checkup, focusing on daily connection and communication.

   • Appreciations: We each share something we appreciate about the other, whether it’s a kind gesture, a shared moment, or a quality we admire.
   • New Information: This is where we update each other on anything the other might not know—thoughts, experiences, or feelings from the past week.
   • Puzzles: If there’s something one of us doesn’t understand about the other’s behavior or a recent experience, we ask questions to gain clarity.
   • Concerns with Requests for Change: We gently bring up anything that’s bothering us, paired with a specific request for change. The focus here is on expressing feelings without criticism.
   • Wishes, Hopes, and Dreams: Finally, we share any aspirations, big or small. This helps us stay connected to each other’s goals and dreams.

2. Copy Over Tasks: After the emotional check-in, we move on to the practical side. We start by copying over any tasks from the previous meeting that still need attention. This ensures nothing gets forgotten.

3. Prioritize This Meeting's Topics: Next, we prioritize what needs to be discussed in this meeting. This might include upcoming events in the calendar, work schedules, meal planning, logistics for the kids, or scheduling our next date night. We utilize our Family Values to help us make decisions around any of these topics.

4. Plan for Upcoming Tasks/Travel/Meetings: Finally, we look ahead to the coming week (or beyond) and plan for any tasks, travel, or meetings. This helps us stay organized and reduces last-minute stress.

The Role of Organization Tools in Family Ops

To keep our Family Ops meetings organized and efficient, we use Notion as our family organizer. It’s a powerful tool that helps us stay in the know, with all our topics, tasks, and plans in one place. We can easily add to our shared list of topics throughout the week, ensuring that nothing gets overlooked.

But it doesn't have to be complicated. When we first started, we used a simple Google Doc, updating it weekly with new topics. The key is to find a system that works for you—whether it's a sophisticated tool like Notion or a basic document—what matters is that it keeps you both informed and aligned.

The Benefits of a Weekly Check-In

This structured approach to communication has had a profound impact on our relationship and family life. By dedicating time each week to discuss both the emotional and logistical aspects of our lives, we’ve created a partnership based on trust, understanding, and mutual support.

• Reduces Resentment: Small annoyances can build up if left unaddressed. Our check-ins give us a safe space to express concerns before they turn into resentment.
• Increases Efficiency: By planning ahead, we’re more efficient in managing our time, reducing the chances of things falling through the cracks.
• Strengthens Connection: Regularly sharing appreciations, dreams, and concerns helps us stay emotionally connected and aligned on our life goals.

How to Start Your Own Family Ops Meeting

If you’re inspired to start your own weekly check-in, here’s a simple guide to get started:

1. Set a Consistent Time: We’ve found that meeting for an hour on Friday mornings after we drop the kids off at school works best for us. Trying to have these meetings in the evenings wasn’t consistent with our schedules or energy levels. Choose a time that works for both of you, ideally when you’re both free from distractions.
2. Create an Agenda: Having a structure helps keep the meeting on track. You can use our agenda as a starting point and adjust it to fit your needs.
3. Use a Shared Organizer: Whether it’s a tool like Notion or a simple Google Doc, having a shared space for your topics and tasks is invaluable.
4. Be Open and Honest: The key to these meetings is honest communication. Approach them with an open mind and a willingness to listen.
5. Stay Flexible: While structure is important, be flexible enough to adapt the meeting to your needs on any given week.

Conclusion

Our weekly Family Operations meetings have become a cornerstone of our relationship, helping us navigate the challenges of family life with ease and collaboration. By dedicating this time to both emotional check-ins and practical planning, we’ve built a stronger, more connected partnership. Whether you’re dealing with keeping your home in harmony, managing your kids’ schedules, or just trying to keep the peace, a weekly check-in can be a game-changer in maintaining harmony and connection in your home.

Save and share this post with a couple who might find this valuable. Follow @therapy.with.katelyn for more insights and support. If you're interesting in learning more about how my husband and I run our family ops meetings, don't hesitate to connect with me today.